Sunday, August 22, 2004
Stupid Little Stealers
Attention all 9-16 year old little punks!!!
Stop trying to steal from my store! You will be caught! Security will be called! The police will come! You will go to jail IN HANDCUFFS!! No amount of begging, pleading, or crying will get you out of this.
You say you have the money to pay? You should have paid then and not shoved the ring in your pocket instead.
You say you've never done this before? Too Bad! You'll never do it again now will you?
You are trying to tell me you didn't take it?? Bullshit you little bitch. I watched you rip those earrings of that card and put them in your bag. Yes, the pink ones. There are mirrors all over this store. You think just because you can't see me I can't see you?
Oh you forgot you tried those bracelets on? Why'd you take the tag off and cover them up with your sleve then? Huh? Huh?
Don't try to run away either. We WILL chase you. Through the mall. Through the parking lot. All the way to Home Depot. And if you have to pee, think about that before you put yourself in a situation where being tackled by a policeman is possible. You WILL pee your pants, and go to jail in pee pants. (This happened, I swear.)
There is no escaping us. We spend all day waiting for you little jerks to steal so we can watch you go down in flames.
You just have to ask yourself one question. Do you feel lucky punk?
Well...
DO YA!?
Stop trying to steal from my store! You will be caught! Security will be called! The police will come! You will go to jail IN HANDCUFFS!! No amount of begging, pleading, or crying will get you out of this.
You say you have the money to pay? You should have paid then and not shoved the ring in your pocket instead.
You say you've never done this before? Too Bad! You'll never do it again now will you?
You are trying to tell me you didn't take it?? Bullshit you little bitch. I watched you rip those earrings of that card and put them in your bag. Yes, the pink ones. There are mirrors all over this store. You think just because you can't see me I can't see you?
Oh you forgot you tried those bracelets on? Why'd you take the tag off and cover them up with your sleve then? Huh? Huh?
Don't try to run away either. We WILL chase you. Through the mall. Through the parking lot. All the way to Home Depot. And if you have to pee, think about that before you put yourself in a situation where being tackled by a policeman is possible. You WILL pee your pants, and go to jail in pee pants. (This happened, I swear.)
There is no escaping us. We spend all day waiting for you little jerks to steal so we can watch you go down in flames.
You just have to ask yourself one question. Do you feel lucky punk?
Well...
DO YA!?
# posted by Claire @ 9:45 PM 
Comments:
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I seriously don't know how you work retail. I waitressed all through college and I would do it all over again rather than retail.
HA - that's so funny! Next time I got to lift something, I'll be sure to use the bathroom first...
Maybe you should post this in your store ;) heh
Maybe you should post this in your store ;) heh
ok look man, no offenso or anything but shut the F*CK UP!! man, you adults and youre preduduces against anyone younger than youre precious 18 years of age, I've never stolen a thing in my life, a lot of kids havent but you and youre adult mind automatically label us all as little Punk ass kids that are off to steal youre shit and than go underage drinking afterwords. honestly, i go into retail stores (corrupt and over commercialized as they are) all the time and i never steal anything, i also dint buy anything that has a huge f*nkin name brand on the front to advertize for youre company and tell everyone how great it is.
but my main point is adults like you with stupid overratted predidices can all _____(insert suggestive instult here) and look, if you hate haveing to chase after the kids that do steal youre presious merchandise, try not pricing the stuff so damn high so we might be able to afford it sometimes. Honestly, some of us have to go out and spend $40 on a t-shirt just because it has a label on it or whatever, i'm nto about to do that, i'd rather be naked.
but my main point is adults like you with stupid overratted predidices can all _____(insert suggestive instult here) and look, if you hate haveing to chase after the kids that do steal youre presious merchandise, try not pricing the stuff so damn high so we might be able to afford it sometimes. Honestly, some of us have to go out and spend $40 on a t-shirt just because it has a label on it or whatever, i'm nto about to do that, i'd rather be naked.
CFWM,
It would help your cause if you were even remotely coherent and literate. I don't think she was saying all teenagers steal, just referring to the ones that did. And if you can't afford something, tough shit, work for the money to earn it or buy something cheaper.
It would help your cause if you were even remotely coherent and literate. I don't think she was saying all teenagers steal, just referring to the ones that did. And if you can't afford something, tough shit, work for the money to earn it or buy something cheaper.
Pee pants, hee! My husband used to work in Loss Prevention and once tackled a guy who ended up shitting himself when he realized he was going to jail.
(Also, I weep for the children forced to spend $40 because they must have brand-name clothing. Weep, I tell you.)
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(Also, I weep for the children forced to spend $40 because they must have brand-name clothing. Weep, I tell you.)
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